Friday, 30 November 2007

This just in

We here at SFTWM care about our readers and it is with this commitment in mind that we would like to take a moment to apologise to the more Halo-appreciative among new visitors to this site.

Despite appearances to the contrary, this post is about as Halotastic as this blog gets.

Feel free to blame this person and his selfishness for keeping it all to himself.

I know I do.

Sorry to disappoint folks.

The Joy of Second Chances

by His Whoreness.

The last time I had one of these, it wasn't pleasant, and I'm afraid this afternoon proved no different.

Chalky. Sickly sweet. None of that irrepressibly addictive coke-ness to be found.

There's just over half a can left, if you're interested. Expressions of interest can be forwarded to the usual address.

Jamaica an' Roma

Massive Attack's Karmacoma just came up on the iPod.

Love that Bristol sound.

... even if Massive Attack did lose its way when Mushroom and Daddy G left to do their own thing and 3-D's paranoia about Big Brother and the loss of self to technology was left to dominate an otherwise lacklustre album. That said, Live With Me proved to be a glorious example of that old school torch song heard in previous releases like Protection, even if the music video was one of the most depressing music videos I've ever seen.

... even if Tricky's solo work since Maxinquaye has been more miss than hit.

... even if Beth Gibbons' solo jaunt with the Rustin Man didn't quite pass muster.

I wonder if Portishead's third album will see a resurgence in that gem from the 1990s: Trip Hop.

I think we're ready for it.

I know I am.

Wednesday, 28 November 2007

It's like Sophie's Choice, but more meaningful

Ladies and gentlemen, my modest-yet-loyal readers, the important life decision for today is:

Should I go to a champagne tasting at noon today?

... or should I not go to a champagne tasting at noon today?

The Cuisine Centre at Kirks is doing a tasting of what they've desribed as "summer bubbles".

Yes it is a 'school day', but I shan't think I'd get too sozzled (they're really quite careful about that at Kirks) and the abundance of marketing and sales people should prove more than ample incentive to leave sooner than one otherwise might at a free alcohol occasion.

On the upside, the nibbles are generally quite good and I'm all for new culinary experiences (within reason of course) whether liquid or otherwise.

So I guess you'll have to colour me intrigued enough to swing by for a look-see later on today.

Monday, 26 November 2007

How cool is this?!?!?!

This is the Japanese trailer for the next instalment of the Appleseed saga: Appleseed Ex Machina.

CGI animation backed up with motion capture has come a hell of a long way since the nonsensical if beautifully-rendered Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, with Appleseed film before this looking mighty fine. Big robots, weapons that fire rounds like a raging torrent, and the woman who takes it all in her stride. Thats movie magic right there people.

Even the Halolover should want to see this.

I wonder when it will come out here. Maybe I should see if Melbourne has it on DVD. Maybe it will be part of next year's film fest line-up.

Sunday, 25 November 2007

Why yes, I am wearing baby blue

Despite being hardly the most fashionable of arm accessories, it seems the compression bandage is swiftly becoming the bandage of choice among the cultural elite in our nation's capital.

No really, it is.

I'm wearing it to help keep the elbow baby-to-be in check, but the fucker itches like a bitch.

Saturday, 24 November 2007

Should we name him Noel?

It is the festive season (well it is when Kirks busts out both a Christmas Store and a Christmas Basket Store).

On the other hand, Noel is quite an old fashioned name and I don't recall liking any people named Noel.

Noel Gallagher is a crime against music, the Childrens Commissioner would be after me if I went with Noel Coward, and Noel Edmonds is... well... a bearded penis.

I don't know.

What do you think?

Your city needs you

The mavens of all things related to our nation's capital, the Wellingtonista, are holding the Second Annual Wellingtonista Awards.

These awards celebrate the best and brightest, but in a much-less-naff way than the Wellingtonian of the Year awards only this week.

So, why should I care? Two stores that are very near and dear to me have been nominated for Best Shop and Best Apparel Store, respectively.

For Best Shop, SFTWM-favourite POPUP makes its debut among the nominees.

Please don't make me explain the many and varied reasons why we love POPUP. You've all seen my collection, many have seen the giddy joy they bring me, some of you have small collections of your own courtesy of the boundless generosity of yours truly, and a few of you have even enjoyed Tony and Amber's hospitality at their exhibition launch parties.

Voting for POPUP is the right thing to do.

For Best Apparel Store, SFTWM-favourite Good As Gold is among the nominees.

Good As Gold has long been my ever-reliable source of Vice Magazines, assorted plushies, the hottest of hot badges as judged by government ministers and corporate bigwigs, as well as some damn fine clothes I only wish I had the physique to pull off.

Ruben's set up a sweet bastion for a scene that I wish was all the larger and more visible in this city, and although every visit is like a trip through the looking glass for me, I've always felt oddly at home.

Tony and Ruben have my love, and they deserve yours.

So, go here and fill in this very small survey and help these guys get the props they deserve.

Do it for the brave men who died in the trenches on Gallipoli.

Do it for the mothers who cut oranges for weekend schoolkid soccer games.

Do it for the children. They are our future.


... 21 days and counting.

Be careful what you ask for

Ladies and gentlemen, this marks the first in what will hopefully be a periodic series of guest posts from contributors known and soon-to-be-known.

Kicking things off is my former partner-in-crime, Mr Jimmy Jangles.

Why Halo 3 is Better Than Sex or An Essay on Why Killing Aliens and Saving The Planet Earth is Better Than Doing Things With errr Limbs in Odd Places.

by JJ.

I guess the first one is obvious, even to people like Tom Cruise, who despite their love of Zenu know in their hearts that Halo 3 is better than sex because you can never fire blanks in Halo 3. Every shot a head shot.

Speaking of shots, after landing one in Halo 3 you don't have to clean up the mess.

You can fire your gun as many times as you like in Halo 3. You can reload in a second and get that double and triple kill and God forbid an overkill of four. Good luck getting a triple thrill in the sack on a cold night.

You can always wear your big green space suit while playing Halo 3. Good luck wearing a green and gold spartan helmet with your nearest and dearest when playing 'hide the sausage'.

Halo 3 doesn't get upset if you play with more than one Xbox. With sex, you are generally lucky to have a box to slip your dick in.

Its really easy to get three or four players to form a group for a long drawn out session of Halo. Not so easy arranging a group sex session
(ed. speak for yourself, bro), what with all that after that guilt.

If your gun in Halo 3 fires bolts of green fire, people will admire you. If your gun, while having sex fires green, see a doctor, like now. Seriously, now.

With Halo 3 you can take pictures and movies of your sweet moves from any angle, put them on the internet and share them with your friends. With your sexcapades, unless you are Paris Hilton, you don't want a video of your ass crack winking at the world on porn tube do ya?

Ceci n'est pas un coude

After banging my arm on the way home from dinner at Boulcott St Bistro earlier tonight, it seems I'm not the only one to have come home tonight.

Yes, we are dealing with the return of an old friend.

But, what to call him?

Any suggestions?

Friday, 23 November 2007

Oh please sir, may I have some more

Enjoyable nights spent in good company, discussing issues both worthy and topical over pan-seared scallops, roast duck parcels and a glass of achingly delicious sauvignon blanc in hand. Productive lunches held under a conspiratorial air, intermingling the sharing of personal opinions with the strategic delivery of professional 'considerations'.

Oh yes. Colour me quite in my element.

And yet, as we're reaching the end of a week that has seen more than its fair-shared of catered affairs, I must admit to finding myself more than a little jaded from it all.

I'm just not sure I can face anything that isn't served to me on a platter.

Hat-tip to Chris for the photo.

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Revenge of syndication

These went up a couple days back, but JetPilot is playing host to some new material courtesy of yours truly.

Not only do we have Van She's really random music video for Cat & The Eye.

Not only do we have a few tracks from France's newest cartoon electro hero, Danger.

Not only do we have a random song from German DJ Azzido Da Bass that is really floating boat right now.

We also have a few more posts in the works, with another single from Depeche Mode frontman Dave Gahan's album Hourglass getting the remix treatment, as well as some remixes and original material from American duo Culture Prophet.

Hotness in a hand basket.

Come get some!

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

I saw a UFO

Aussie electro-poppers Sneaky Sound System are making an appearance in our nation's capital soon after I get back from Melbourne and a few of us seem quite keen to see them.

Yes I know they're REALLY derivative and soft and light and airy and empty and vacuous and almost relentlessly poppy and that the better songs of theirs are the remixes by the likes of Riot In Belgium and van She Tech, but (and there always is one) it should be a fun harmless night out.

Besides, I may not be up to music with depth or range after the previous week's antics.

I'm not sure when tickets go on sale or how much they'll be. All I know is the press release said 21 December and the reviews from their Auckland appearance a couple months back were pretty good.

Now, I wonder if Miss Kelly wants to come join the shenanigans...

This just in

Our new favourite TV show is TVONE's Damages.

I didn't get around to watching the first episode because someone thought they'd tape over it, but that didn't in any way cheapen tonight's viewing experience and I don't mean to get hypey or anything, but... wow!

The last show to grip my brain with smart writing and subplots upon subplots was The Wire and before that Homicide : Life On The Street. If you haven't watched, enjoyed and fondly look back on either show, then shame on you.

Look upon this show as the thinking person's The OC, the show that keeps you home because there isn't a better way to spend your Wednesday night.

In other news, hazelnuts are the hot nut for the summer. Own them. Enjoy them. Caress them. Roast them. The more adventurous among you might eat them raw. I know I do.


Another notch on the belt of injustice

I'll be globetrotting when this comes around so won't be able to make an appearance myself, but don't let that hold you back from attending.



Vice + free booze = a very good time

Tuesday, 13 November 2007


We're into the second week of the month of Movember and my god are there some horrific crimes against facial hair walking around our nation's capital.

I understand that prostate cancer is a silent killer of New Zealand men, that the campaign is a brilliant means of promoting understanding as well as raising funds, and that this has an element of the jocular about it.

I just don't understand why every unsightly guy around town insists on making themselves look more unsightly from the random and immature tending of tufts of hair along the lip and chin lines.

And for those sporting the handlebar, are we trying for The Village People because I didn't realise they were looking for a replacement leather daddy.

Show me a hot guy that looks hot with manicured facial lawn and I'll show you questionable taste in men.

Yes I can grow a mo', I'd just rather not spend a month being confused for my father.

Shit itches like a bitch as well.

Bugger that.

This message was brought to you under the influence of increasingly miserable weather outside, a complete lack of preparation born from remarkably warm and clement weather this morning, and a deep-seated desire not to feel so sodden after suffering horizontal wetness.

Looking sharp

The ubiquitous swag of end-of-year invites keep rolling in with one sioree after another finding itself pencilled into one's increasingly congested social calendar.

It's a hard life I know, but one simply must RSVP in the affirmative or risk being abandoned by such occasions in the future.

One such invite that holds special meaning is the grand opening of the Zwilling Concept Store at Wellington institution Kirkcaldies & Stains this Thursday. Zwilling J.A. Henckels is the home of Henckel knives and believe you me when I say these are a dream to work with in the kitchen. My parents' Henckel 'four stars' are almost as old as I am and still have many years left to run.

Well, that and the invite was more attractive than the standard array of 'stiffies'* one normally receives.

* a deliciously appropriate term for the stiff card invites one receives, as sourced from the one and only Deborah Hill-Cone.


... 32 days and counting.

This just in

The Midnight Juggernauts are crossing the vast and treacherous Tasman Sea later this year to play a free concert in Auckland.

Your host will however no doubt be passed out in one of Melbourne's better-known rooftop bars while the Midnight Juggernauts make their first New Zealand appearance this year.

He has been reminded that while in Melbourne he shall be experiencing a broader range of more exciting acts, acts that would impress far more than the Juggernauts apparently have with their live appearances.

But, still.

Thursday, 8 November 2007

Stop gap measures

I got bored one afternoon and came up with a mix that showcases some of the talent that will be hitting the stage at Never Ever Land in December.

It's a mix of the old and the fairly new, the fairly well-known and not so well-known and although not chock full of club bangers, it is varied enough to maintain my interest through the hours at the office.

It's also been roadtested on a few newbies (persons who haven't heard of most of the artists on the CD) who seem to really like it, so it would seem to have broad appeal.

The tracklisting includes...

Crescendolls : Daft Punk
Da Funk (Casino Inc Amazing Disco Remix) : Daft Punk
Technologic : Daft Punk
Human After All (SebastiAn Remix) : Daft Punk
Ross Ross Ross : SebastiAn
Testarossa Autodrive (SebastiAn Remix) : Kavinsky
Testarossa Nightdrive : Kavinsky
Sweaty : Muscles
Ice Cream : Muscles
Sex City : Van She
So Haunted : Cut Copy
Girl And The Sea (Cut Copy Remix) : The Presets
Are You The One? (Van She Tech Remix) : The Presets
I Go Hard, I Go Home : The Presets

I'm thinking in hindsight that I maybe should have only gone with one track by Muscles, or at least opted for the Van She Tech remix of One Inch Badge Pin.

Oh and the tyranny of choice from all the great Cut Copy tunes out there meant I took the easy route and opted for their latest. It's a good'un but still.

I know it is chetaing to include an act (Van She) on the CD when they won't be appearing at the Never Ever Land event in Melbourne, but I really like the song and including them helped cover off the absence of the Bang Gang DJs (who seem to lack original songs of their own). The Nightmoves remix might have been a better option than the original but ah well. Still a great song.

If you want a copy, let me know and I'll throw an HWP together for you.

I don't know that I want to post it online. Kinda takes away the appeal of putting together the packaging and the recipient receiving something more than a hyperlink.

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Close, but no Buanne

Methinks the womenfolk around the office have chased up the makers of Maltesers for an office fling, after a vaguely foreign gentlemen with overdone coiffe, deep cigarette-affected voice swaggered his way into my office to hand me a little treat.

The press release suggests he was likely "foreign royal billionaire" 'Fabrizio Adonis'.

Now, either I look REALLY gay today or he was just being nice, but I've ended up with a chocolate bar that is now free to a good home.

If it helps, the packaging says 1 stick = 82 calories (does that make it healthy?)

The first cut is the deepest

I've just noticed that there is an enormous bug on my office window, and I'm just dying to see a bird swoop in and snatch it away for future devouring.

I mean, how cool would that be?

Insects and I don't really mix too well. I blame the nights of horror spent as a child where enormous stick insects and ferocious weta would clamber along my bedroom walls, only to fall and squirm on my cherubic face.

Night. After. Night.


Shit like that messes with a kid.

All about having a Flutter on the GGs

Another year and yesterday saw another afternoon spent enjoying the hospitality of the Australian taxpayer, and what hospitality it was too. I think I was drunk about 5:00pm.

Actually I know I was, but it helps to maintain some semblance of modesty around such indiscretions.

On the upside I scored $50 from the sweeps and evils from the security guard standing near Sue Moroney's 2000 Melbourne Cup trophy.

Fingers crossed that mob of schoolgirls conveniently forget my less-than-sober stumblings back to the flat.

Good times, people. Good times.