Sunday, 26 November 2006

Aaaaaaaaaand we're done

I've just finished watching the second season of HBO TV series Carnivale and yes there probably are more festive things one could be doing on a Sunday but with the weather the way it is I'm disinclined to want to leave the comfortable and wamr embrace of mytoy-infested room.

Anywho, it started off well. Really well. I'd gush but that's just geeky. Suffice to say it builds on the tension in the first season and takes some interesting turns. Well until the third to last episode that is. My one gripe with this season is that you can see the point at which they were told they wouldn't be renewed for another because it seemed like another three years worth of episodes was crammed into the final three. Very rushed. Not a lot made sense to be honest. The whole Lodz thing, the whole Jonesy getting married thing, the whole everyone wants to abandon Ben until they saw what he did for Jonesy, the whole Brother Justin dying so easily thing, the whole Sofie thing at the end.

Quite the unsatisfying end to what has been a rather fantastic TV show. Shame it got canned when it did. It could have been a contender!

Thursday, 23 November 2006

How many sleeps 'til Santa?

I seem to have lost my ability to count so will have to rely on your own numeracy. Christmas isn't that far away and in case you were wondering what to get me, I'd like to proffer the following suggestion.

There is an amazing artist called Audrey Kawasaki who paints these amazingly detailed images on plywood to come away with something brilliant. My favourite of recent times is Claudia and the Coelacanth. Beautiful isn't it?

So yes, I'd like that.

My thanks in anticipation.

Why didn't anyone tell me?!?!?!?!?!

Kid Koala is playing in Auckland next Friday night.

*visibly sobs into outstretched palms*

I don't begrudge the awkward timing with the arrival of our south pacific floral wonder but Kid Koala plays a damn good live set and last time we got to play bingo with card sets he'd designed himself. So very too cool for school.

Does this mean his latest CD has hit stores here? I can only hope so. From what little I've heard murmured on the blogosphere it really is rathher good if a step back to his debut recording effort scratchscratchscratch.

He's playing at Coherent in Auckland with Sonik Tonik (never heard of them). God I hope the venue is better than decent so he comes back sometime soon.

I. Want. To. Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *stomps feet and has tanty*

While we're on the subject of live gigs, did anyone see Ratatat play the SFBH earlier this week? I couldn't quite muster the energy to go, let alone the funds.

Oh and flip through your diaries to Sunday 7 January 2007 as this is when Cansei de Ser Sexy play the SFBH with So So Modern. If the live footage on the net of their USA tour with Diplo is anything to go by then this will be one show not to miss.


Because music is your hot, hot sex and we all should make love and then listen to Death From Above.

And a big thank you to Mister Chris for letting me load onto the iPod the debut effort from Shiny Toy Guns, Feist's remixes and collaborations, Kate Havnevik's latest effort and the soundtrack to Shortbus (a great film you all should watch - watch it with your parents - and your grandparents - they'll love you for sharing the experience with them)

Did we care that...

On Wednesday (8 Nov), the House of Representatives voted 112 to 9 (NZ First & Act) to kill a bill (the Electoral (Reduction in Number of Members of Parliament) Amendment Bill) that would have reduced the number of MPs from 121 to 100. The bill was in line with the wishes of 81.5 per cent of the 74.8 per cent of eligible adult voters in the 1999 citizens initiated referendum on the size of Parliament.

I didn't think so.

Wednesday, 22 November 2006

Because it's what the people want

... this is your elbow on bursitis.

Not mine though. I found this pic online. Seemed easier than trying to take a pxt of my own elbow.

I told you I had elbow foetuses/foeti. Foeti sounds wrong.

Well actually it just sounds dumb.

I hope we now understand the nature of both Rupert and Everett.

Not cool, people. So not cool.

Ghostwriter is a great song by producer RJD2 (if you've never heard of him then you'll likely find him in the hip hop section of your local music store - otherwise look to the list of music links to the right and you'll find his website) and one that a friend of mine of the Piha persuasion put me onto a year or so back. To be honest he put onto a fair few new tunes by the likes of Broken Social Scene among others.

Such are the perks of one's mother being a musicologist it seems. His, not mine. No, my mum got me hooked on Motown soul and some Italian opera (I'm still waiting for Wellington Opera to perform Pagliacci - I'd give anything to see Vesti La Giubba sung in a live setting).

Ghostwriter certainly rates highly on my iPod's most played list. While I think about it, Since We Last Spoke and Iced Lightning are also popular RJD2 tracks on the iPod.

So it was with a great deal of disgust that I heard it playing on TV a couple weekes back as the theme song to that dreadful romcom *gags* Wimbledon.

I'm now left unable to enjoy the song without Kirsten Dunst's screechy voice popping into my head to ruin my mood and my day. Since when did it become kosher for TV and film to rip-off great music and ruin it with their mediocre visual offerings.

So not cool.

Tuesday, 21 November 2006

Everyone, meet Everett. Everett, this is everyone

It seems I have a new elbow foetus and Antz has dubbed him Everett.

He doesn't seem as warm and sociable as Rupert was.

Fingers crossed he comes out of his shell soon enough.

Yes I will be going back to the doctor about this.

Just not sure when.

Monday, 20 November 2006

Fuck yeah! Nice one. All those signs are...

M&Ms are running a promo for M&Ms Dark Chocolate called Dark Just Got Fun.

They've taken a Breughels painting and messed with it by hiding 50 dark movies in the painting. All you have to do is click on what you think is a clue and if you type in the correct film title it will go dark and leave you to move on to the next one.

It took Master P and me a day or so to work them out. I'm not sure if JJ has quite managed to finish yet. Have a go and see how well you do.

To help you out, the men pointing at what look like big zeros are "The Omen". Most are cheesy, some are dumb and some take a lot of thinking to work them out.

If you get stuck, try looking here.

Lest we forget

Rupert is no longer with us.

Such a short life.

So very sad.

The weekend that was...

Two words people "largely unpleasant".

Although it was a joy to see Her Floralness, to meet some of her friends and to be able to check out her baby villa, the family stuff on the Saturday was fairly painful, the crack of dawn flight back to Wellington the following morning was taxing and I won't even venture into the flurry of emotion of arriving home to a fly-infested hovel.

Thankfully we have Craftwerk this Thursday. And Lorrie Moore (thank you Antz - yes your book is still in pristine condition). And two short weeks before Her Floralness makes a whistlestop tour to our nation's capital.

Oh and gin.

And tonic.

Friday, 17 November 2006

Today's word: NEGLECTFUL

We have broadband at home and have done for a few days now but with the sick leave and Rupert and District B13 I really haven't had time to post anything of note.

So what I have done is...

Seen my elbow find itself with child. We've named him Rupert. I hope he's not racist or how stink will he feel. Antz (and everyone else) seems to think I need to get a doctor to look at it. I'd post a photo of the elbow foetus but you might not eat for a while.

Finally take possession of my Seymour print. It looks gore-gee-ous. I just need a hammer so I can put it up. I also bought a few other things while I was at POPUP but that's a story for another blog.

Find it difficult to get a decent night's sleep in a lovely house buffeted by gale force winds. We have gorgeous sash windows which don't seem to enjoy the bracing caress of a brisk northerly. The Barrs suggest paper in the joints to brace the windows to the frames. My flatmate doesn't like the aesthetic. I need a decent night's sleep.

See a so-dreadful-you-have-to-laugh film with said Barrs. District B13 promised a lot with le parkour, kung fu, love and loyalty to French ideals and by and large it delivered. Whether you'd like what it delivered I'm not entirely sure. The parkour scenes are incredible but the film is still so very very dreadful. Oh and did I mention there was a nuclear warhead involved? Thankfully it was only 80-odd minutes of pointless dialogue and terrible acting. I quite liked it but you need to know it was dreadful.

Anywho, I'm off to Gisborne tonight to meet up with Te Papa and do family stuff. I hope to see Her Floralness while I'm up there and maybe get a tour of the baby villa that is Casa de Frangipani.

Try not to miss me too much while I'm gone.

Monday, 13 November 2006

Hmmm... well... let's see

I've been a bit busy moving into the new digs to post anything new.

I drank a bit too much during the move to relate anything sensible or that positively reflects on my character.

I'm a little sleep-deprived since my flatmate's triumphal if rancorous return from the Hawkes Bay at what must have been 2:00 this morning.

Also we don't have broadband just yet at the new digs.

So yes...


Wednesday, 8 November 2006

Tuesday, 7 November 2006

There is a time and place for such things

I went for a wander around the Art of the Nation exhbition earlier today. Te Papa has buried it way up among the giddy heights of the fifth floor exhbition space. Thank god for elevators.

It was really quite good although arguably the earlier stuff impressed me moreso than the more modern pieces on display. The layout was kinda wonky too with no logical path through the different generations of art in the museum's usually hidden art collection. You should still go and see it though, if only to check out the ultra-realistic life mask of some bro from way back.

Quite the nice distraction really. Which was good, because I noticed more than a few older artifacts from my tribal past and suffice to say that annoyed me more than a tad. Particularly how one panel made passing mention of the 'debate' around the state acquisition of Te Hau Ki Turanga marae (Te Papa's marae on display in the Mana Whenua exhibition - not the fake modern one they've got). More ought have been said on the matter, but I paid my respects to my ancestors carved on the walls and left it at that.

After all, there is a time and place for such things.

Clearly it will be R18 because all the hot boys will be naked

Craftwerk is coming around again and so very soon since the last one but a few weeks back. Same venue, different timing and a racier rating.

For some reason this next Craftwerk is R18. It can't be the crochet vagina because kids were able to buy them at the last one.

What do you think?

Craftwerk will be at the Southern Cross up Able Smith St the evening of the 23rd. Come along if only for the people-watching.

I am a man of constant sorrow

It really sucks being poor. I don't understand how the habitually destitute muster the will to live from one day to the next.

Pay. Day. Cannot. Come. Soon. Enough.

Daddy needs lundia shelving. And toys. And gin. And tonic. And lemons. And black truffle oil.

Life's essentials.

Which reminds me, we've pretty much moved everything into the new digs. We've only got the less manageable pieces of furniture to shift across later this week. So yes, all very exciting.

Took the folks around last night and they were suitably impressed. Te Mama didn't think I'd ever move into a hovel and seemed quite proud that we'd found somewhere arguably as good as home (if not slightly better, but shhhhhhh don't tell Te Mama). As for Te Papa, he seemed more interested in asking how the flatmate-to-be and I came to know each other. Not sure what to read into questions like that.

So yes our rooms are enormous.

And yes I do have more than enough room for an army of midget manservants in my walk-in closets (yes, plural on both counts).

And yes the xbox360 is already set up.

And yes we do have a paedophile's dream view of one of Wellington Girls' outdoor courts.

But no we don't have room for you to move in with us.

And yes we do have a gourmand's dream location right next to Francois'.

But no we don't have room for you to move in with us.

And yes we will have somewhere comfortable for Her Floralness to sleep when she comes to stay.

Which reminds me, when are you coming down on the 1st?

Seymour has his solo exhibition at POPUP that night and I really do need to buy another of his prints to go with the one I'm still paying off. I should be back before the evening's hours reach double figures.

Sorry, WE should be back. I'm hoping the lovely Antz and the lovely EKG will come along for another great night of free bubbles, hip cats, art and my spending far too much money.

Monday, 6 November 2006

At the risk of being labelled a cock...

can anyone guess what I'll be celebrating tomorrow afternoon?

Friday, 3 November 2006


I don't know what to think after the sudden disestablishment of Simon Wilson from the editorship of Cuisine magazine. I'd generally found the magazine to be quite stuffy until he came on board from Consumer magazine.

Judging from the mention in this week's Molesworth and Featherston, Cuisine was doing very well from Wilson's leadership. That said, the NZ Herald made mention of dissatisfied murmurs on the choice of cover for the Christmas issue. I can't say I find leggy blondes particularly offensive.

What Cuisine have now ended up with is a confusing editorial committee. There are a number of improvements I'd like to see in Cuisine (more articles on how to use and source a wider range of food and ingredients, as well as more on the goings-on/developments in the food and hospitality industries) but I'll settle for the magazine not suffering from too many cooks in the kitchen.

Without Cuisine, I can only imagine how the cooks of today will learn the tricks of the trade.

Sticking with the foodie ouevre for a moment longer, Savour New Zealand have finalised the programme for next year's masterclasses and by all accounts I'm unimpressed. The masterclasses last year (Savour New Zealand happens every couple of years) had international luminaries as Anthony Bourdain and Greg Malouf. This year we get Tom Parker-Bowles and a slew of New Zealand chefs I've never heard of nor am inspired to see. The range of classes also seem frightfully uninspired with the almost de rigeur pinot noir class, classic french bistro cooking class, seafood class... The list goes on.

Uninspired by the guest chef profiles and class descriptions I noted with a great deal of interest the departure of Michael Lee Richards and Tina Duncan as directors of the event. Coincidence maybe, but I'm afraid the programme for next year's event doesn't do enough for me to happily part with the $675 registration fee let alone flights and accomodation on top of that.

Which is a shame really.

I had a great time last year and learned a great deal.

The Joy of Male Personal Grooming

by Antz.

The joy of male personal grooming lies in the overall physical change as much as it does in the simple act of being tidy. Tidiness, especially for those of us who have on the odd occasion been described as a little bit OCD, is a glorious thing.

Firstly, let's be clear: haircuts do not count. This is a discussion of acts of grooming which you perform on yourself, not ones you pay someone else to perform for you. And if you do cut your own hair it counts even less - that is simply butchery.

So, we begin with the joy of trimming nasal hairs, those puckery little extensions that ruin the clean, rounded lines of the nose. Trim them, get rid of them, nothing must protrude. But don't trim too far, nasal hairs do serve an important purpose - but the purpose takes place on the inside. Collecting snot on the outside of your face is not a good look.

Only trim eyebrows if you can use the singular form of the word, i.e.: eyebrow, and make a clear distinction through the bridge of your nose. Divide and conquer the monobrow. Also, if you have Dracula-esque curls and wisps, neatly trim them back. If you over pluck or trim your eyebrows, you will end up looking like a silly girl. Don't do that.

A bit of rough is an attractive thing.

Cut fingernails and toenails so that they sit just below being flush with the tips of your fingers/toes. In terms of your fingernails, this can be very important when trying to hold proper guitar chords without the nails getting in the way. Perhaps you also play with your feet, I don't know. File your nails. Not too much, just get rid of the rough edges and make smooth rounds of them.

Let us finish on pubic grooming: a very important area. Please, boys, keep things neat and tidy down there. Though it's no good shaving everything because nobody likes to look at pre-teens. Nobody who belongs on this side of prison, anyway. However, pubic hair should never resemble a wad of spaghetti. It should be closer to a golfing fairway, perhaps a green - depending on personal taste.

The one area you may want to shave clean are your testicles. Especially if you plan to have anything much go on down there. There are proper ways to floss, and you needn't improvise other methods for whoever may be involved.

Pubic grooming is, however, also for yourself. It will help make things be and feel nice and clean.

Please do experience taking a shower directly after. It's quite a fresh feeling.

Did someone fail to tell me the White House had changed hands?

We went to the White House for dinner last night expecting fantastic nights similar to those experienced in previous years, and yet I at least came away thinking it has become something less than what it was.

The maitre'd was more casually dressed than the restaurant's patrons, the wait staff looked near-dead and high on something invariably illegal, the menu was very brief, the truffle oil was over-applied to most dishes and the seats were generally uncomfortable.

The cauliflower veloute amuse bouche was savoury if disappointingly small in portion. The rabbit ravioli with rabbit consomme entree was tasty if similarly disappointingly small in portion. The apple tea jelly palate cleanser was sweet if grainy in texture. The grain-fed beef fillet main was perfectly-cooked if utterly lacking in flavour. The cheeseboard was ok at best.

All in all I came away really quite disappointed with the dining experience. Sure the trips to Citron will have necessarily raised the expectation bar, but I can't help but feel the grand old White House has become less grand in more recent times.

Thursday, 2 November 2006

Sorry to seem fickle, but...

I'm feeling much better after a leisurely and sociable lunch with the lovely Michael. We went to Ernesto's on the corner of Ghuznee and Cuba Sts, where Crazy Lounge used to be. Amen for the healing power of lamb sausages served on a quinoa salad. Num num nums indeed.

Service was a bit slow but the food more than made up for that, as did the free fruity water.

I haven't been back to Floridita's in quite a while but I'd quite comfortably argue that Ernesto's is the new Floritidita's. It was comforting to see the hordes turned away at the door by a full-capacity seating. Made us feel special. Made us feel privileged.

We deserve that.

I. Told. You. So.

I told you this week would suck after Monday night.

You know what?

It really does.

I'm sorry but The Whore is all out of the milk of human kindness.