Tuesday, 31 October 2006

Free bubbles, hip cats, art and Mr Money Bags Haronga

Actually a more helpful title might be Best. Night. EVER!!! explained

Apologies in advance for the almost hysterical post previous to this one but last night really was rather marv. And yes this post probably would be better sited here.

Suffice to say last night was quite possibly the BEST NIGHT EVER!!! POPUP had a preview night for a very select few for their new exibition (yes they do sell more than just toys), so of course I was invited and I thought I'd drag a few friends along for the fun, frivolity and free bubbles. Thankfully the always pleasant Antz and the ever lovely EKG were my escorts for the evening.

A quick drink at the Matterhorn before the big event proved remarkably reviving to our collective spirits, leaving us almost visibly at ease of the workplace burdens we'd only just left behind us. So at ease were we that I found myself almost disturbed at the swift passage of time and the very real prospect of arriving too late for the free bubbles.

Coming up to the corner of Cuba and Ghuznee Streets we were met with the image of people spilling out of the gallery and onto the street. People with beer and champagne flutes!!! Thankfully we were able to gently navigate our way into the gallery towards the beverage scaffolding. Past the people we didn't know, past the pregnant host, past the host responsible for the other one being pregnant. Quite the journey.

So it was with bubbles in hand that we then partook of the Hoki Mai Halloween exhibition.

The exhbition featured work from six Wellington artists, each adding their own Aotearoa flavour to the pulp phenomenon of Halloween. That was the blurb on back of the postcard invite.

There were a few pieces that immediately grabbed our atentions. One was Happy Halloween Wayne by Blair Sayers and the other was Trick Retreat by Seymour. I could go on about each of the pieces and mention how there were these two really cool pieces with blood dripping over the frame from the painting. But I won't. You should check them out yourself. The exhbition runs from today until the 7th, which is next Tuesday. The 7th is also Melbourne Cup Day. Coincidence?

I know its all Victor Kiam (he's the guy that liked Remington shavers so much he bought the company) of me, but I found myself desperately wanting to buy the Seymour piece Trick Retreat. And this was well before getting a chance to talk to him about his work, how he works, the other things he's working on (plushies, toys and a solo exhbition at POPUP on December 1). I would have bought it on the spot if not for the imminent move and necessary funds required for such upheaval. But I did buy it. And that makes so incredibly giddy I feel girlishly shameful because it is the total package of fantastic custom frame, wonderfully detailed giclee print and embossed offset. I love it!!! I don't have it yet, but will once I pay it off.

So we drank some more, ate some weirdly addictive cheese balls, marvelled at the toys , cowered at the thought of my room looking like POPUP opened an outlet store next to my bed, and pondered the straightness of the kinda hot guy because his jeans said gay but his sweater said straight.

In short, We loved the bubbles, we loved the company, we loved the owners, we loved one of the artists, I was totally smitten with the print of his that I bought last night.

Antz came away with a few toys of his own for his burgeoning collection. I don't know if it was all the bubbles we'd had that night but he HAD to share his deliciously dysfunctional HARM bunny with those around us at Matterhorn after the exhibition.

So cute.

And yes I was incredibly drunk when I added the previous post last night. I of course mean drunk in the good way.

Monday, 30 October 2006

Best. Night. EVER!!!

Thank you Antz!

Thank you EKG!

Thank you POPUP!

Thank you Tony!

Thank you Seymour!

Thank you german bubbles!

Thank you weird cheese balls!

Thank you HARM bunny!

Thank you green frankenmonkey!

Thank you layby!

Thank you Tony!!!

Oh dear god, who would have thought Monday nights could be as fantastic as this one has been!!!

Yes I am too giddy for words - and for sleep while I think about it.

Oh this week is so gonna suck in comparison.

Sunday, 29 October 2006

Among my people, we call that oversharing

I've got something to add to the Now That's Some Wrong Shit pile.

Earlier this evening a boy I know but not so well I'd know him that well was txting me while he was getting his ass waxed by his boy, a waxing undertaken on a whim and acquiesced just as nonchalantly.

What is that? Say it with me people. That. Is. Some. Wrong. Shit.

I'm sorry

But it's all been about the whoring.

Anyone want a free pass to Gisborne’s Tairawhiti Museum?

No Really.

I’m. Dreaming. Of a white. Christ. Mas.

With all the desperately miserable weather this weekend one can't help but wonder with this is a sign Wellington may indeed find itself the victim of a white Christmas. I don't know about you but temperatures have dropped to almost winter proportions (granted wind chill played a large part in that effect) and the cabin fever… well… lets not go there.

Update: I saw the weather report on the news just now and it looks like the heavens won't be so barefacedly effecting on us come tomorrow afternoon.. The weather chick on TVONE is wearing far too much make-up. She seems almost cadaverous, especially with that too-manicured-to-be-natural bob haircut.

Her look reminded me of that 90s indie film Kissed. Or at least I think it was called Kissed. Actually yes it was called Kissed. It was that Canadian film where the chick has sex with the cadavers in the mortuary where she works as a beautician and the man that loved her enough to kill himself. Somehow his dying would mean that she would love him as completely as the cadavers she sleeps with at the mortuary.

Sick I know but it was all very tastefully handled.

Artistic even.

Thursday, 26 October 2006

The gay gift goodness continues

A package arrived this morning from tropical Hawaii from the original workplace wife. I think I'll enjoy it first before sharing.

The Joy of Hospitals

By His Whoreness

The dated decor, the oppressive corridors, the soul-destroying linoleum floors, the muzak on the PA system, the three hours spent waiting to be seen, the waiting room's uncomfortable chairs, the TV with only one channel, the 5 years old magazines, the 30 minute procedures that take three hours, and the dirty looks from hospital shop staff.

Oh. Dear. God.

And to think I was just the support person!

I think I'll stick with private healthcare thank you.

I deserve it.

Monday, 23 October 2006

C'mon girls I know you know what you want

God I miss these guys.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Death From Above 1979 and Romantic Rights.

Watch it. Love it. Buy it. Play it. Groove it. Rock it.

We could do it and start a family.

Ooh! Ooh!

The shopping.

The shopping!

Oh the shopping!!!

When you're born into trouble you live the blues

I don't know about you but Massive Attack still rates as an ever-popular listen on the iPod.

The dark brooding breaks on Mezzanine, the achingly-commercial beats on Protection and edgily low-brow Blue Lines always re-emerge like old friends coming back for a brief catch-up. The subsequent 100th Window was arguably uninteresting, although nowhere near as lacklustre as the sountrack to Danny The Dog or Unleashed depending on where the film was released. I'm inclined put this shift in tone down to the eventual absence of Mushroom and Daddy G from the line-up.

Grant Marshall aka Daddy G came out with his own take on the DJ Kicks series and what a stonking good listen it is too. Aretha Franklin's Rock Steady and Massive Attack's Karmacoma remixes are certainly my choice tracks from this must-buy effort.

I'm not sure what happened to Mushroom.

Live With Me harked back to early Massive attack with its pacing and simple yet gloomy sound, but it sounded so empty. The new stuff coming from the sole member of the original line-up does even less for me. Turns out the poor effort of 100th Window was quite the sign of things to come.

What remains a steadfast favourite of mine among their repertoire was also arguably one of the songs that marked the shift in tone that saw Mushroom leave Massive Attack. The song? Risingson. Eerie, dark, brooding. The song just drips with malice but dishes it out with pace that gives the song a sense of the inevitable. All of this is captured almost perfectly in the video for the song.

Huh indeed

It seems Wellington lost the Air New Zealand Cup final.


Well the sky didn't exactly fall.

Sure, the heavens opened, but that's different. I'm sure it is. I hope it is.

The moral of the story? God couldn't care less about rugby.

If ever there was an example that some people have far too much time on there hands...

this is it.

On The Download describe it as...

Imagine Terry Gilliam as a hopeless music geek with shelves sagging under the weight of a few hundred dusty LPs, a little too much time on his hands, and a bloodlust uncommon among stop-motion animators, and you’ll get an idea of this stupendous clip.

Thrill as Rick James greases Billy Joel with a well-placed ninja throwing star! Cringe as Joe Jackson’s sharp white shoes are hopelessly sullied with spilled gray matter! Leer as Roxy Music’s Country Life cover models blast bullets from their bazooms! Cheer as Boston’s flying saucer is given the Death Star treatment! Wince as feral Ozzy chomps poor Rivers Cuomo’s head off!

You gotta watch it.

Yeah I know, they're rubbish

A couple years back I saw a pretty good kinda sci-fi film called Equilibrium. It had that whole european-trying-for-american look thing going and a rather quite inspired gimmick called gun kata to enliven the action scenes.

Well the director is back with what I think is his sophomore effort Ultraviolet. My expectations were naturally high after seeing Equilibrium and yet this turned out to be yet another Milla-Jovovich-not-wearing-very-much romp of the Resident Evil variety. I'm sorry but it was one REALLY dumb gimmick after another! Swords and guns appearing from nowhere! The Tardis thing going on with rooms being enormous on the inside! Oh I can't go on.

All you need to know is this: don't bother.

Sunday, 22 October 2006

Say hello to my little friend

Maybe it's the excitement of the impending move or that I'm almost home alone while the folks spend the week in South Australia, but the cooking bug is back with a fervour not seen since the tragic and life-changing health scare.

BLT sandwiches of the honey-cured chicken bacon, salt-rubbed vine-ripened tomatoes, crisp iceberg lettuce with sesame and cumin seed butter and tzatziki persuasion.

Moroccan spice-rubbed chicken, chickpea and cashew nut crumble with spinach and green beans in a balsamic verjuice reduction. Subtle textures, subtle flavours, subtle colours. The very example of muted culinary elegance.

Salt and pepper crusted beef strips, balsamic vine-ripened tomatoes and tzatziki pita pockets with caesar's salad. Different textures and striking flavours coming together to where the whole is greater the sum of its parts.

Pomegranate and elderflower syrups enlivened with Antipodes mineral water and sugar-dessicated mandarin slices. Yes I know I shouldn't go near sugar but one only needs the one sugared slice to make the drink something entirely extraordinary.

Is anyone else feeling hungry right now?

Can I get a hug?

Like a great constipated evacuation, I come back to you with news, and what news it is too.

Ladies and gentlemen... my days of mooching are rapidly coming to an end.

Just this weekend my flatmate-to-be and I signed the tenancy agreement to our soon-to-be new digs in the faultline hazard that is Thorndon. The whole experience has left me rather giddy these last few days. My excitement got the better of me at one point with the lounge of my current digs swiftly finding itself full of my boxed possessions. I never realised I had so many CDs and DVDs.

We will be renting the sexier of the four apartments housed in a renovated firehouse. Imagine if you will a large sheltered area outside, tall ceilings, polished wood floors, large lounge, newish kitchen, ample after-hours carparking and tennis / netball / basketball court courtesy of Wellington Girls College, Thorndon pool but a stones throw away, Thorndon New World right across the road and a bus-stop to take us into town from right outside our front door. Naturally I've gone with the room that has oodles of storage and a walk-in closet, while my flatmate-to-be will reside in the enormous sunlit bedroom by the lounge.

The very paragon of comfort and convenience.

We'll probably need a week or so to settle in, so don't expect a flatwarming invitation to appear too soon. After all, I have to fit in a trip to Gisborne soon after moving into the new digs.

Which reminds me, anything you'd like me to bring up to you from our nation's capital my dear?

Tuesday, 17 October 2006

Friday, 13 October 2006

Just what is it all worth

Depeche Mode are coming out with another album, only this time it's another greatest hits album. If memory serves the last one was in 2004 and they've only since released Playing The Angel.

Murmurs on the blogosphere suggest it'll be yet more of the same singles from SOFAD, Violator, Ultra and Exciter (do you feel loved?) that featured on Remixes in 2004 and the earlier and arguably more complete The Singles 86>98.

Called Martyr, further murmurs suggest the song of the same name currently doing the rounds of many a blog will be the sole effort at new material. Which is all quite disappointing really. I really quite enjoyed Playing The Angel and Martyr sounds like it belongs on PTA. It's just that with the CD/DVD rereleases of their back catalogue and addition of yet another greatest hits album so soon after the last one, it all seems so lazy and apathetic. And that annoys me, what with what seems to have been a fairly successful tour with big gigs (Coachella anyone?) liberally sprinkled throughout the last year.

Maybe I'm expecting too much, but greatest hits albums have always struck me as the last gasp of a dying band. The least they could do is feed us more tunes like Useless from 1997's Ultra.

Oh and while I'm here...

The guy who ended up here after googling "porno pxt" must be really proud of himself. I mean, what kind of moron googles for porn? He must have a girlfriend who was away from home to not know of more direct means of getting free porn.

Oddly enough he was using a New Zealand ISP, which was odd. Normally my google porn visitors are of either German or Midwest American extraction. I don't know if that's because they REALLY enjoy googling for porn, but they do seem to turn up on my statcounter more often than those of other more exotic global locales.

And yes, big brother is watching you. Hope you don't mind. I'm interested how people find their way here especially since the Wellingtonista went blogspotless.

Think of the children!!!

The European Union finds itself in crisis this week as the European Anti-Fraud Office (known to it's friends as OLAF) investigates 17 cases of garlic smuggling. Yes. I shit you not. Garlic smuggling.

It seems the illegal trading in fresh garlic has seen EU taxpayers EUR$60 million out of pocket from avoided duties. Transhipping through third countries and false labelling I can understand but trust the inscrutible Chinese to take it just that little bit further. It seems the EU have very specific duties on types of garlic so with OLAF's media statement mentioning how shipments of fresh garlic are misdeclared as dried or frozen garlic or (and this is my personal favourite) as elephant garlic (a type of garlic not subject to import restrictions).

OLAF have also provided stock video of the Bulgarians getting in on the enforcement act. 19 minutes of pasty-faced police in 80s uniforms charging into rusty containers anyone?

I'm against too much garlic in french cooking as much as the next guy but you've gotta ask yourself how much the EU is wasting its time in chasing up on this kind of thing when they're haemmoraging cash on translators they never use and basing their decision-making bodies in not one, but two European cities.

Thursday, 12 October 2006

It's not gay if you're the guy

I'm a Stephen Colbert fan so trawl youtube.com for clips of his show because the closest we get to The Colbert Report down here in the ass-end of the proud and mighty Pacific Ocean is The Daily Show, and not even the real Daily Show but the adulterated and ultimately less satisfying "Global Edition".

Anywho, I came across this clip of TDS host Jon Stewart interviewing essayist and David Sedaris friend and collaborator David Rakoff. It's quite funny if far from the truly brilliant clip of David Sedaris on Letterman already posted on this humble online repository.

Wednesday, 11 October 2006

Good times

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It's been... well... ummm... however long since I last confessed to doing something stupid.

Yesterday I had a... I... I had a coke. I only had a small can of black death. Delicious, delicious black death. Oh dear god it tasted soooooo gooooooooooooooooooooood *droooooools*.

In my defence, I would just like to say that the last few days have been particularly taxing on my normally restrained and laconic self, so please forgive me my momentary weakness. I can't promise to be a good boy because that would be banal and presbyterian, and I hope we can all agree that that would be a bad thing.


Well I don't feel any better for having confessed. Why do you dooleys even bother doing this? Honestly, you crazy catholics and your craaaazy "rituals".

Next thing you know I'll be labelled a sinner for engaging in biblical if unchristian acts.


Monday, 9 October 2006

Get your pencils out folks

It's time to update your social calendar...

: Ishland have their launch/exhibition/show happening on Left Bank on the 14th. Should be weird and oh so very indie. You have to email someone to get a free pass to the launch. I forgot whom, so look for it on their website.

: Craftwerk comes back to our nation's capital on the 23rd at the Southern Cross up Abel Smith Street. I quite enjoyed the last one, although fingers crossed this isn't as chaotically cramped.

: POPUP have Hoki Mai Halloween, a gallery exhibition of New Zealand pop art, at the end of the month. Let me know if you want to go as I've got a couple passes to the preview party on the evening of the 30th. There should be bubbles.

: I'll be tipi haere back to my turangawaewae mid-November and hope to spend some time with Her Floralness while I'm up there tending to matters more tribal in nature. Three generations of Haronga men under the same roof. Frightening.

: Her Floralness may be embarking on her triumphal, if temporary, return to our nation's capital in early to mid-December. Inshallah. It's been too long my dear.

Oh and in case you didn't know...

The Guru is back in town

Sunday, 8 October 2006

Three words

Say it with me people... Oh. Dear. God.

Should I be ashamed I know Gay Boy?

No really, should I?

No I don't know him like that

Forgive me, I'm in mourning

I'm neither old nor particularly experienced when it comes to matters of the workplace but in my brief time in the employment world I have come to realise that there are two things that make the workplace a good place to work: the work and the people you work with.

When times are tough at the workplace you can always rely on one to help you get through whatever is going on with the other. Thankfully I have been blessed in my current place of employment with not one but two workplace wives *. The first had my balls in her pink handbag and I never begrudged her almost supernatural control over me. The second has a caustic sense of humour that always brought a smile to my face and a proud tear to the eye. Why? Because being awash in cynicism and vitriol never felt so good.

And yet I too am a truly unfortunate man for I have lost both workplace wives. Workplace wife numero uno has left the country on her OE only this weekend and the second has left for her own reasons. There is something to be said for having someone at your workplace who is familiar enough to share in the good aspects and revel in the bad aspects.

What am I meant to do now?

I guess I could start the search for a new one, but one needs to put in the appropriate time for mourning. Nothing against the women I work with at the moment but I can't help but think it may be time I looked beyond the confines of one's organisational structure to workplace wives in greener pastures elsewhere.

* For those who have no idea of what a workplace wife is or no experience of one, I suggest you click on the logo below to a GQ op-ed on the workplace wife.

Nothing says good morning quite like...

waking up to 12 bottles of Antipodes sparkling water.

Well there were 12 bottles, but I've already since finished one off. Actually, make that two bottles.

Yes it might all be from a tap on the side of a car mechanic's workshop but I don't care. It tastes great, looks great, feels great too.

Is this a good thing?

Sin City got the ball rolling with 300 as the next Frank Miller-inspired film to come out in recent years. Heavily stylised like Sin City, this film is about the 300 Spartans who stood against the Persians at Thermopylae. Quite the heroic moment by all accounts and Troy this isn't.

Anywho, here's the trailer. Looks rather spesh although the same could have been said about the trailers for Sin City and we all know how underwhelming that was.

It looks all very music videoesque, especially the scenes in the trailer with the chick swirling about like she's underwater.

Apple.com has a higher resolution trailer if the youtube vid doesn't come out too well.

Friday, 6 October 2006

White. Pants. Gags.

I'm quite disturbed that people still insist on wearing white pants as if they *gags* look good in them. Excuse me while I retch. White jeans I can understand from those of g-string and bottle-blonde persuasion, but boys in white pants. No. That's just wrong.

This is what happenes when people in the building across the road insist on wandering around their "apartment" with the curtains drawn. We love such openness and transparency among one's neighbours. It tastes of exhibitionism. Well that idiocy about privacy.

On the issue of privacy, there is something to be said for being indiscreet every now and again. Well selectively discreet at least.

Some among my flock find themselves comfortable in oversharing in the intimate details of their lives, something that I've found disturbs most people. I happen to quite enjoy it. Its all about feeling the giddiness that comes with holding onto the secrets of others. Smells of schadenfreude and potential for malice.

I like that smell.

Don't you?

Gorgeousness and the morning after

Suffice to say I'm feeling far from gorgeous today.

I'm sorry, did someone just say "panda eyes"?

Tuesday, 3 October 2006

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman

The Lovely EKG bought the new Killers CD yesterday and kindly let me rip it last night onto the iPod. After a sporadic listen since then I'm inclined to rate it as enjoyable. It sounds very similar to their debut effort with plenty of synth and guitar action going on. Opening track Sam's Town is classic Killers so it's probably no surprise it not only opens the CD but provides the name.

Current hit single When You Were Young seems almost lost on the album and sounds less than what it does on TV. Maybe someone has done a radio edit for the music video. Not that it matters. The remixes floating around the blogosphere by Jacque Lu Cont and whoever does the Lindbergh Palace edits, more than make up for its inadequacies on the album.

The special edition has Where The White Boys Dance as a bonus track, with the Japanese special edition also carrying All The Pretty Faces as a bonus track. I'm not sure why they get more than the rest of us but oh well.

For all the songs are quite enjoyable, there was always the urge to switch to the next track or something else. Maybe it all seems too familiar against all the similar acts that are out there. Then again my tastes may have simply evolved with all the indie electronica clogging up my iPod.

Either way it's still an enjoyable listen.

What is with all the emo kids swarming Manners Mall this last week?

...and the bogans up Cuba Street?

...and the Khandallah mums with their too-thin daughters down Lambton Quay?

...and the bronzed goddesses wafting through the streets in coconut-oiled delirium?

...and the awkward first-years wandering aimlessly along Willis Street looking pointless in that jobless kinda way?

Has something happened and noone thought to send me the memo?


Monday, 2 October 2006

Wairoa franchise?

Howard would be visibly weeping into his dirty clint if he wasn't already dead, taxidermied and his head mounted on the wall by the front door. He wouldn't drink the hi ho silver because he wouldn't like lychees. It's a moose thing.

Say it with me people... Now. That's. Some. Wrong. Shit.

And a round of applause for The Whore's favourite floral wonder for providing the eyecandy. She's very obliging.

Just for the Banana

If I was hard-out I'd have the software to build this into a single mp3 file and the server bandwidth to post the mix online for you lot to download and enjoy. But I'm not hard-out, so you'll just have to settle for the tracklisting. And by you I mean anyone not the Banana.

Designed For The Woman On The Move Mix

  1. Walk A Mile In My Shoes (Tiga Remix Edit) - Coldcut
  2. SexyBack (DJ AK 47's Love Song Makes Justin's Dick Throb Mix) - Justin Timberlake
  3. Standing In The Way Of Control (Soulwax Nite Version) - The Gossip
  4. Get Myself Into It (Serge Santiago UK Edit) - The Rapture
  5. When You Were Young (Jacque Lu Cont's Thin White Duke Radio Edit) - The Killers
  6. Listen Up! (MSTRKRFT Relick) - The Gossip
  7. Toop Toop - Cassius
  8. Are You The One? (Van She Remix) - The Presets
  9. I Go Hard, I Go Home - The Presets
  10. Faster Kill Pussycat (2006 Club Mix) - Paul Oakenfold
  11. Don't Cry Out - Shiny Toy Guns
  12. Do Something Supermassive - Muse vs Britney Spears
  13. Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above - Cansei De Ser Sexy
  14. Walking With A Ghost In Paris - Tegan & Sara vs Mylo
  15. My Love - Justin Timberlake

All I have to do now is the packaging.

And yes this is yet another list but it's all rather unavoidable I'm afraid. Well in this instance at least.

This week's to-do list

  1. Get by until I get paid
  2. Get paid
  3. Go shopping
  4. Organise for a dozen speights to be delivered to our man in the south
  5. Finish off the Banana's Designed For The Woman On The Move mix
  6. Pretty up the online home of the Slightly Silver Fox
  7. Sort out Exhibit A to frame my Kozyndan Urban Myths postcard set
  8. Dine at Citron with la familia
  9. Avoid suffering too many hangovers
  10. Find something about mornings that's worth getting excited
  11. Wonder how Renee Zellweger's supreme lack of talent has never got in the way of one Hollywood film after another
  12. Subtly mention I've received my invitation to this year's Australian High Commission celebration of the running of the Melbourne Cup
  13. Buy a plant for Jay's eventual flatwarming
  14. Get horribly drunk with the Lovely Kelly at her new place
  15. Tend to my flock
  16. Keep happy my modest yet loyal readership

Yes my priorities may be a little skewed but one doesn't get by in life without a healthy array of inane distractions in the planning of one's week ahead.

Birthday Present Wish List

Here are just a few ideas in case you guys were struggling for ideas for things to get me...

This fantastic Joe Ledbetter print at POPUP (you'll find it in the drawers on your right as you go in)

Goldfrapp's soon-to-be-released-only-in-the-USA all remix album We Are Glitter from Amazon

A case of Antipodes sparkling mineral water (the 1-litre bottles thanks)

Huck Gee's over-the-shoulder bag from Kid Robot

The fourth labbit set I'm yet to get from POPUP (actually no, I've already snapped him up - sorry to disappoint)

Recordings of David Sedaris' collected works from Amazon

The gorgeously handmade if slightly trashy lucha libre plushies at Good As Gold

The new Justin Timberlake CD / new Killers CD / new Scissor Sisters CD from Sounds / CD Store / Real Groovy

Soulwax's completely-remixed CD Nite Versions from Amazon

Tickets to see Soulwax perform Nite Versions live / see The Presets live / see Cansei De Ser Sexy support Ladytron on tour from wherever one gets those kinds of tickets

A winning lotto ticket of the first division persuasion

Anything that would make you jealous for not possessing it yourself