Sunday, 24 July 2005

Repairs and Maintenance

Events in the last three days have left me... well... broken.

Please understand if I don't go into more detail.

Rest assured I'll get back to posting updates once I've sorted my shit out.

Thursday, 21 July 2005

Normal programming will now resume

Beers and a steak sandwich at the Feathers.

Beers were good.

Not so sure about the steak sandwich. Steak was too thin and overcooked, the bap untoasted and doughy, the salad lacked flavour, and the chips were few and undercooked.

You have been warned.

Right.

Off to see a film now.

Oodles of toodles mes ami

Thursday day

So...

No package on the doorstep this morning. Whats up with that?

Its been almost a week since I last watched TV. Whats up with that?

Red pants won't wear red pants anymore. Whats up with that?

The people you recognise one film fest screening to the next are generally the ugly ones you wish you never saw. Whats up with that?

This blog is too filmcentric. Whats up with that?

Beer makes the bladder shrink. Whats up with that?

Wednesday night

Managed a beer or two at the Feathers before bussing (yes thats right, I caught the loser cruiser) with the ginga ninja down to Courtney Place to see the first of two film fest films.

Loving the Mac's Gold. Maybe a bit too much. Especially during the breaks betwen movies.

Me and You and Everyone We Know at the Embassy. Sat in a comfy seat in the row on the cusp of the land of leg cramp and body space invasion. Yes folks... Row Q. As for the movie, it was fan-god-damn-tastic! Essentially the fucked up story of fucked up people interlinked in one way or another, I and others came away from the movie feeling good. And thats a good thing for a movie to do. Some of the scenes got decidedly dodgy but that didn't matter because the film was just so much fun.

GO... SEE... THIS... FILM!

Anywho, I had time to kill before the next film so grabbed a Mac's Gold at the Paramount and watched the pack of do-gooders swoop around and pounce on Avi Lewis (director of The Take and personal hero of mine). His film had just screened so it kinda made sense for them all to be there. I was about to offer to buy him a beer and save him from the almost ravenous attentions of unkempt do-gooders but then Mister Chris arrived so I talked to him about movies instead.

The Magician at the Paramount. A mockumentary following an Aussie hitman around on a few jobs. Read Mister Chris' review for an appropriate assessment of the film. I can't be bothered myself.

Wednesday, 20 July 2005

Wednesday morning: no parcel on the doorstep

gutted...

Where are the DVDs I ordered?

How long has it been since I last saw Dandy?

What did Mister Chris think of Inside Deep Throat?

Why does my iPod keep picking the same damn songs on random?

Who the fuck cares, I want my DVDs!

Tuesday night

Two film fest films...

Be Here To Love Me at the Paramount. I don't know what it is about country singers but they all strike me as being alcoholics always wasted on drugs who treat their long-suffering families worse than shit. Songwriter Townes Van Zandt, the subject of this doco, was no exception to that observation. Despite the misery he imparted onto his loved ones, the doco was really quite good and for country music his songs were pretty good too. I don't think I learned anything from the film (apparently the most important requirement for a documentary) but I did enjoy watching it. The Q&A at the end with the director and cinematographer was brief with few if any fatuous questions from the obvious plethora of blowhards and name-droppers in the audience. Yes the Paramount was filled with THOSE kinds of people.

Afterwards a friend introduced me to Avi Lewis (director of The Take and partner of Naomi Klein) and we all ended up talking great shit about movies, music and canada. Sooooooo good. Not to get overly fanboy right now but Avi Lewis represents the second watershed in my appreciation of music. As host of a show called the NewMusic, he was probably the sole reason I got out of bed on Saturdays and the man who introduced me to the Asian Dub Foundation, Tea Party, Moist, Chantal Kreviazuk, Joi, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Skunk Anansie and so many other acts I never would have come to know if not for the show. I still have half of one series on tape and watch them every now and again. So yeah, meeting the guy was great in itself, but spending time with him and talking about acts we both like and some of the crazy shit that happens when you interview music legends quite simply made my year.

The Edukators at the Embassy. It was very nicely shot, very well-acted and the basic premise was interesting. The end product however ended up veering perilously close to cliche so often I lost interest halfway through the film. This wasn't entirely what I was expecting and I'm not sure that was such a good thing in the case of this film.

Tuesday, 19 July 2005

Monday night and Tuesday day

Pre-movie drinks at the feathers with workmates meant the Whore missed his screening of Faithless Games at Te Papa last night. I'd be gutted but having a good time with friends seem much more appealling in hindsight than the prospect of what others have described as an ok film about disappointment in the Czech countryside.

Staggered my way to the Embassy in time for The Woodsman. Arriving early and sitting down in a far-too-comfy leather sofa I found myself inexorably drawn to the nearby alabaster visage of a jaw-droppingly stunning example of the human figure. Quite simply exquisite.

The movie itself was really rather good. Although the tale of a paedophile just returned to the warm embrace of a society unaccepting of the crimes that sent him to prison, it was neither depressing nor moralistic (the two cliches all too easily adopted for a film like this). Kevin Bacon played the role of the paedophile reluctant to give into his urges extremely well. The scene with him on the park bench with the 12yo girl left me squirming at times but was handled really quite well. The disturbing content notwithstanding this is a simple character film that succeeds on a good script given form in well-acted roles. It is for those reasons that I enjoyed the movie and recommend you see it too.

As for today's events, I partook this morning of an interesting potato, kumara, red onion hash at Leuven on Featherston Street. Expecting something akin to a potato rosti I instead found myself with a plate of diced roast veges and a couple poached eggs on top. Although distinctly unexpected the dish was remarkably savoury. I'm not sure I'd order it again but I certainly don't regret eating it this morning.

Oh and I've preordered a few DVDs that come out tomorrow. The fifth instalment of Ghost in the Shell:SAC (cyborgs + guns - philosophy = good viewing), the third instalment of Paranoia Agent (random murders + baseball bat + ghost = enjoyable anime), and the first instalment of The Samurai Trilogy (Kurosawa stalwart Toshiro Mifune + swords = slashtastic fun).

Tonight I'm seeing something about a songwriter guy and some German film with that guy from Goodbye Lenin.

Monday, 18 July 2005

Monday day

Back at work today. Still getting used to daylight and the lack of moving images before my eyes. That said I am glad to be able to eat something other than kebabs. I'm sorry but one's culinary options are somewhat limited on Courtney Place after midnight on a Sunday evening.

Pinstripes needs help drinking through a $50 bar tab after work tonight. Who am I to let a mate down in his hour of need. I'm not.

I just hope I remember to get to Te Papa in time for the 6:15pm screening of Faithless Games. Fingers crossed it isn't anywhere near as morose as Little Bits of Light.

I'm sorry but I REALLY hate that film.

Haven't heard much from Dandy lately. Not sure if I should read anything into that.

Is it beer o'clock yet? Please say yes.

My next shipment from Threadless.com

I scream, you scream ,we all scream for ice cream!

Makes me wish I could still fit my Lone Ranger outfit from when I was a kid

What would MacGyver do?

Rather Python-esque

Wellington: a photo essay


Friday night, carpark next to Floridita's on Cuba Street. The sharp streetlight made the shot difficult but I do like the installation.


Sunday afternoon, tiny sidestreet next to TimeOut Xtreme on Manners Street. Go see it because I can't. Well not for a while at least.

Oh and to spoil it for you the hangman will eventually spell KILLER. Or is that MILLER. The trailer says so much and yet so little.

Sunday day and night

Late arrival home + lunchtime start of movie-going day = the Whore risking his schedule to the vagaries of the human body's need for sleep.

Three film festival movies...

Animation for Kids at the Paramount. An ultimately disappointing series of shorts grouped together under the kids banner. Personally I thought kids went for fun movies, but the programmers seemed intent on picking artistically meaningful stories instead. Yes I know the 'film' was meant for kids and I'm not (except in the 'big kid' sense) but the kids around seemed to get bored with it all far sooner than I did.

Read the Sunday Star Times. The only item of interest was a one-pager written by Kate De Goldi in the Sunday supplement about gastroporn and those that enjoy the culinary arts enough to flourish their descriptions of various ingredients and deconstruct the many facets and nuances of dishes past, present and future. Oh if only there were more of us in the world.

Little Bits of Light at the Paramount. Tortuous. I can't think of another way to describe this latest effort from Campbell Walker. The Film Commission finally gave him some money to make a film and he makes one of the most depressing and humourless films ever created.

The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse at the Embassy. Quite simply one of the funniest films I've ever seen and that's saying something. Although a long-time fan of the TV series, LOG:Apocalypse was a truly bizarre movie about the characters of a soon-to-be-cancelled TV show popping into the real world to convince their creators to keep the show going. It gets much weirder and funnier but I'd rather this didn't go into another lengthy literary effort. I loved the film and must have a copy for my collection. Am I local? Hell yes!

Cabride home rather disturbing. Driver has unhealthy affection for musical efforts of Lionel Ritchie. Was I walking on the ceiling? Too right I was. I don't think I've ever pulled money from my wallet as fast as I did then.

Sunday, 17 July 2005

Saturday day and night

Watched Carnivale on DVD. Worked my way through episodes three and halfway through four. HBO can go to hell for cancelling this show after its second season. The story arcs for another four series had already been done and settled. Artless Americans.

Three movies today...

Homegrown: Works on Film at the Paramount. Basically a series of New Zealand short films sponsored by the New Zealand Film Commission. Truant was ok if a little pointless. Nothing Special was pretty funny if not a little too melodramatic. The Little Things was a touching wee short. Tama Tu by Taika Waititi was the standout short. I'm almsot tempted to see another dreadful film just to be able to see the short again. Very touching and genuinely funny. The last one was just bizarre.

Look Both Ways at the Paramount. An excellent Aussie movie about life and getting on with it after a number of characters in the movie are linked to the accidental death of a man in South Australia. Although the death is overshadowed by a much larger rail tragedy, it showed really well that it is the effect on the people left behind that is the bigger tragedy. I'd like to say its about grief and how different people deal with it but the film is so much bigger. If you can see this film you really should.

Kung Fu Hustle at the Embassy. A few years back Pinstripes and I saw Panic Room at Reading with Jemima and this huge dude almost squashed her when he sat down next to her. I mention this because the same thing happened to another woman last night. I would have done something to help her if she was prettier. Anywho, the movie was ridiculous absurdist comedy and everyone seemed to lap it up with random bursts of applause at various stages of the film. To be honest the whole thing was a bit too comedic for my tastes. I prefer my kung fu to be serious and august with bad dubbing, wispy moustaches, inscrutable glances and much stroking of the beard. Alas there was none. Oh well.

Popped off to Pound afterwards. It isn't much fun being the fresh meat for the ugly old men while all the young things are on the dancefloor dancing badly to terrible remixes of Gwen, Kylie and every other female singer on the charts right now. Suffice to say I made it home... eventually.

Friday night

Two film fest movies...

Hidden at the Embassy. Ended up stuck way up the back and right next to the wall. Laughed when I saw principal sponsors Telecom get worse seats. Sat next to two absolutely stunning examples of womanhood (we're talking deer in the headlights here people). Suffice to say I wasn't in a hurry to leave the theatre when the film ended. Which reminds me, Hidden was a pretty good movie if a bit vague for most that were there. It was basically opening credits, long slow bit, kid chops off chicken's head, long slow bit, guy slits his own throat, long slow bit, end credits. Now you don't need to see it yourselves.

Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence at the Embassy. Better seats this time in the leather section. Sound was incredible. The animation was in parts stunningly intricate and in other parts decidedly amateurish. I know standard practice in Japan is for the director to focus on key scenes with his minions slaving away to make the scenes that link his together. Anywho, quite a stunning film despite all the deep and meaningful dialogue about the nature of life, existence and consciousness. I'm not entirely sure it linked with the original too well either. Oh and it was a bit weird how the big, brash brute was made the most ponderous and philisophical. What the ending and the weird guy who downloaded himself into a robot had to do with the murders at the beginning I'll never know.

If anyone out there understands GITS2 can they please explain the plot to me.

Oh yeah, Dandy came along to GITS2. Not sure he liked it that much, but then he does seem to favour the more kidsy anime like Rahxephon and Neon Genesis Evangeleon. I mentioned I had all the Evangeleon action figures. I don't think he liked that either.

Friday, 15 July 2005

I felt peckish so I bought a coat

It is a London Fog 3/4 Winter Coat matte black with a minimalist cut and hidden buttons running the half-length of the front. For a London Fog coat it was remarkably inexpensive, but then it is much lighter than the standard 3/4 I tried on.

I avoided the charcoal/chalk white blend because it looked like it had just been picked up from a really grubby floor. The salesman didn't seem to like that assessment. He suggested I might like to brush the coat. I thought to myself that that would make it look worse.

I may have to get the Seamster to look at removing the button-brace on the cuff. It looks gay.

But yes. Feels good. Looks good. I'm a happy chappy.

On the way back I grabbed a few savoury morsels from Dixon Street Deli. Although significantly less chock-full of family goodness today than yesterday, service behind the counter was as slow and clueless as ever. Its a good thing she at least had a pretty smile. Anywho, the malaysian chicken filo parcel proved to be roast chicken and perfectly cooked potato held together with a deliciously spicy thai sauce with a thin veneer of filo pastry struggling not to burst its seams. Very tasty. I also got what is quickly becoming the ubiquitous chicken, pesto and pinenut pasta salad. Very tasty indeed.

Chicken overload I know and Dixon Street Deli is not the place for the price conscious but the food tastes good and there aren't too many places in the CBD where you can say that. That goes doubly for places that allow you to take your food with you.

I remember when Wishbone first came out and being excited about what was back then a new experience for most people. Maybe its inflation ora changing palate but I don't think the food there is anywhere as good as it used to be. Certainly nowhere near as affordable as it was. Lamb shanks became quite the staple lunch for me back in the day. Yes I did visit the Featherston street store an average five times a day but thats not my point. At almost $15 a pack, I'll be lucky if I feel like having lamb shanks once every couple months.

The lunch situation down this end of town got worse when the Asian Kitchen decided not to renew their lease underneath the sushi place next to that ugly English pub where Paris used to be before they closed down for 'insurance' reasons. Although prepared in a decidedly dodgy setting, their food was pretty and the frequency with which they were full to capacity at the slightest whiff of a southerly was testament to that. The food was remarkably inexpensive too given the sheer size of the servings. I'm not sure where they've moved. All I can say is that they are missed by this consumer whore.

Where else am I supposed to get extra spicy Nasi Goreng with extra fishcake and no egg?

Thursday, 14 July 2005

It was the third of September

I am loving a CD I bought not so long ago called Motown Remixed. Always a fan of Motown's more affected efforts my interest was piqued to see some real classics redone by a lot of people I've never heard of.

Well I have heard of DJ Jazzy Jeff. He was on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air with Will Smith back in the day. Crap actor, but I am loving what he's done with The Temptation's Papa Was A Rolling Stone.

And that my friends is the great thing about the album. Motown classics jazzed up to varying degrees but they all sound fan-soul-tastic.

Can you dig it?

Go buy it!

And now!

Today is a good day to shop

Today is payday so I went shopping.

I didn’t buy much but then I have been shopping a bit much these last couple weeks. I just popped up to Real Groovy to feed the iPod with some new tunes and to liberate my Friday nights with Carnivale on DVD.

I’m sorry but Carnivale is the best thing on TV since Twin Peaks. That TVNZ can’t sort out when it wants to screen the show every Friday night (sometimes 11:00pm, sometimes 11:20pm, sometimes 11:45pm – you never really know) only goes to show the networks in this country have serious difficulty understanding what to do with quality TV shows. With all the criticism abounding over the cancerous spread of reality TV and repeated claims of focussing on quality, the good shows get left with crap time slots.

I don’t know why I get all het up about television. I’ve got enough DVDs to substitute at least 5 months worth of TV.

Anywho, a noticeable feature of my Real Groovy experience was not so much the hordes of people there who looked like they really needed a job, but that the masses were so very very… well… unwashed. Passing them as they furiously flipped through the decks of empty cases I couldn’t help but become overwhelmed by what can only be described as a veritable United Nations of body odour. Not pleasant. Suffice to say my sojourn within their Cuba Street store was far less salubrious than on previous occasions.

On the way back there was much jostling and zigzagging along the pavement. I’m sorry but school holidays are a damned nuisance to those of us who inhabit the city during daylight hours. If it isn’t packs of jailbait prowling the pavement for more of their tribe it is the ubiquitous presence of exhausted parents failing miserably to exert anything remotely resembling control over their obviously over-excited children. One particular runt thought it would be grand to poke his head out at oncoming traffic. I wonder how the smile would look after years of reconstructive and cosmetic surgery.

And yet here I sit typing away with my bag of goodies beside me and a satisfied grin on my face.

Today has indeed been a good day to shop.

Wednesday, 13 July 2005

“Does John know you’re gay?”

Last night. Beer, pool and pizza at the Malthouse with Pinstripes and CarPorn.

Pool started well. Got worse as the night wore on. Narrowly avoided down trou. More than once. Won’t blame the beer.

Monteiths pilsner by the handle. Tasty drop that. Monteiths Food Challenge hits Wellington next week. I read that some place will serve muttonbird tart. Pinstripes asks if it will have any muttonbird in it.

Felt peckish. Chased down waitress. Not the smartest cookie. Nor tasty to look at. Meat pizza arrived eventually. Pinstripes liked it. Crust a bit overcooked. Went down well with beer anyway.

All done and off to New World. Supa Shakes on sale. Bought three. And Kapiti ice cream. Vanilla Bean. Mentos Plus on sale too. Two boxes of juicy orange. With real fruit juice? Doubt it. Taste good though.

Chatty cab driver. Didn’t talk sport. Knew short cuts. Cheap fare.

Good night.

Tuesday, 12 July 2005

On a brighter note

So Dandy and I saw Oldboy last night at Rialto.

Sitting in the back row of one of the more shoebox-esque of their theatres it was interesting to see how empty the theatre was. In hindsight that was probably a good thing given we already one Sniffles McCough on the end of our row. That said I do wonder whether the Rialto theatre in Wellington makes any money, especially since the Penthouse in Brooklyn and Paramount on Courtney Place expanded the number of art-house screenings in recent years. After all Rialto isn't quite the bastion of less mainstream theatre it once was.

But I digress.

Oldboy is a Korean revenge flick I caught at last year's Wellington Film Festival. I quite enjoyed it and despite Dandy saying afterwards that he enjoyed it too I thought he was going to lose his maltesers all over the seat in front of him a few times there. Whether it was the straight sex scenes that had him wretching or the main character eating a live octopus while its tendrils writhe and pull at the skin on his face I dont know. I also would have thought that with everything the movie had already screened he would've been fine when the main character cut his tongue off with desk scissors but alas he wasn't. Neither was I to tell the truth. Extreme close-ups of self-mutilation on the big screen are never easy to take I guess.

The extreme nature of some of the scenes notwithstanding Oldboy is quite a good revenge flick. Although set in the 90s, the storyline relies on similar revenge plots of old with many strings weaving into an interesting if obvious ending. If you were locked in a room only to be released after 15 years, would you ask why you were imprisoned? Or would you instead ask why you were released?

Think about it the next time you wake up in a strange room.

All that he wants...

is for people to stop listening to Ace of Base.

People please! Don't make me confiscate iPods!

They are a menace to society that were best left to the ignominy of the forgettable 90s.

Buying makes me a better person

So this morning saw money in my bank account that wasn't there yesterday and you all know what THAT means...

Yes, I went shopping.

Knowing full well that the next three weeks would see me sitting in a darkened room with anonymous others I felt it prudent to think 'gadgets' this consumer outing.

And what an outing it was too!

Xbox games galore and a DVD. Oh and a new controller for the Xbox (all I will say is 'tantrum' and lets just leave it at that). Oh and a DVD remote so I can watch my new DVD on my Xbox seeing as how my PS2 has given up the ghost when it comes to playing DVDs.

Yes my pile of Xbox games has almost doubled but I didn't exactly have that many to start with. My PS2 library has however reached near obscene numbers. And no I won't sell them off. That would make me worse than someone who buys used games. And that I am afraid is quite simply wrong.

Much like public libraries.

Which begs the questions... Why would anyone want to read a book thousands of other people have handled? Why would anyone want to limit their enjoyment of a book to the ubiquitous two-weeks before having to hand it back for someone else to read?

Surely if a book is worth your time and effort to read then it was worth shelling out a few bits to buy the damn thing!

Remember people that it is not natural to share things.

Sunday, 10 July 2005

Horrific... painful...

So Dandy and I saw the Fantastic Four last night.

I really should have known better when I read Jen's 'review' in the Washington Post.

I'm not sure if it was quite as bad as War of the Worlds but it was pretty bad. The phrase "horrific painful car crash" came to mind when I was walking the walk of shame out of the theatre.

The low point of the movie? Everything.

Even Jessica Alba was terrible. She may have been able to rescue the films if she was in the skin tight outfit more often, but alas she was not. Instead we were left with limp and angsty abortive attempts at romance between her character and 'Mr Fantastic'.


That said I can't wait to see her in Sin City.


Hmmm... leather... ummm... chaps?

Friday, 8 July 2005

Jacko and the Chocolate Factory?

Is it me or is Johnny Depp going for the Michael Jackson effect?

Weirdly pallid skin, strangely manicured teeth, oddly chipper voice boyish bob haircut and loving protection of children and child-like adults? I'm sorry but all you need is Bubbles and Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory becomes Neverland Ranch.

And can I just say how disappointed I am that Tim Burton has opted for CG-cloned oompa loompas. I thought it was cool how they used to have awkward jerky movements given their... well.. awkward frames. Thankfully this time the clones aren't of Temuera Morrison!


Come on people, sing along with me... OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO I'VE GOT A PERFECT PUZZLE FOR YOU OOMPA LOOMPA, DOOMPADAH DEE IF YOU ARE WISE YOU'LL *mumble* *mumble* *mumble*

Ok so maybe I forgot the words.

And the Respect for Little People Award goes to... not me.

What is she squeezing from that guy’s intestine?

Ok so last night I went to the Competition Screening for the Short Film Festival that is part of the Fringe Film Festival. The theme for this year’s competition was “waiting room” to which most of the 25 competition films seemed to stick quite rigidly. That said some did veer off into the bizarre. I’m still not sure what a house invader sniffing a woman’s panties at a bus stop has to do with waiting rooms but hey that’s just me. With each film around 3 minutes long it doesn’t really matter.

So why was I there?

Mister Chris had one of his short films (I really don’t know how many he’s made or making) in competition so I figured I’d pop along and check it out.

I quite liked it. There is a clown and there is a guy and they are in a doctor’s waiting room with suggestive innuendo-like talk and private medical form filling aplenty. Who knew clowns could be so funny. I didn’t until the clown started suggestively stroking his puffy red nose. Yes it was one of those you had to be there kind of moments, but I loved it all the same!

The clown’s own effort was screened later and seemed to involve a leprous zombie trying to cross the road until he is gunned down. It was pretty funny until he got gunned down. Then it just got ridiculous.

Although enjoyable those two movies did suffer from being screened earlier in the programme than the others as it took a while for the crowd to warm up and really get into the films they were watching. At one point we had to be reminded to applaud when a film finished. Terrible I know but hey it was fun and for $5 damn good value for money by Wellington standards.

One of the standout films for me involved a funeral and the dead guy stuck in purgatory until someone shed a tear for him. The punchline was that he had to endure a rather rotund St Peter shaking his ass in a tiny slip and terrible g-string. Seeing a big hairy ass on the big screen? Not good for keeping the food down. Damn funny though.

Another standout film was the romantic candle-lit dinner with 3 couples degenerating into gorish mayhem as limbs were cut off, entrails disembowled (I loved how the guy was strangled with his own intestines and she pulled harder on it disgusting brown ‘stuff’ came out the end she was holding – nice touch) and salt poured on stumps where forearms used to be. Quite mad but it made for delightful entertainment.

Oh yeah and there was drinking and eating and mandcandy pxts from Sekure and bombings in London too.

So yeah, that was last night.

Ps: loving the fridge magnet Chris! I'd post a picture for posterity but the firewall won't let me.

Thursday, 7 July 2005

Please tell me I'm not the only one who...

understands the fundamental difference between shopping and buying?

People please!

Wednesday, 6 July 2005

Yes, only "come" can be used as a verb as well

Ok so I know I’ve gone on and on about the Wellington Film Festival but those of you who haven’t bought any tickets yet really should get them sooner rather than later. Despite the obvious conversational value of regaling your loved ones and workmates with the torrid tales of settling for seats so bad only Satan could ever have imagined them, I don’t see the point in forking out for movies you won’t get to enjoy.

Believe you me. I have suffered the bleeder section of the Paramount (way up the back in the land fresh air forgot) and the dreaded land that legroom forgot at the Embassy (be polite and introduce the ladies and gentlemen in the row in front of you to your left and right knees).

Oh and thanks to the efforts of Mister Chris I suggest that you check your film schedule so to avoid the unpleasantness he is going through now.

With that public service announcement out of the way might I move on to my latest addiction? Thank you. Now I never thought I’d say this but dairy goodness in the form of Supa Shake made by those lovely people at Nature’s Energy has almost knocked coke from the very pinnacle of substances I find addictive.

I know it isn’t as good as the real thing or Nippy for that matter, but it is so much better than Wave or Primo could ever dream of being… assuming of course that chocolate milk has aspirations.

Just don’t go telling those dairy farmers or I’ll never hear the end of it!

I now have a personal request to make of all the Wellingtonians reading this blog: does anyone know where I can get Moleskine notebooks other than Askew on Midland Park?

Moleskine’s ruled notebooks are a personal peculiarity of mine but Askew only seems to have the Reporter’s Notebook (dreadfully uncomfortable to use) or the cahiers (dreadfully pedestrian to use). You’ll have to forgive me for resorting to a minor post on an equally minor blog but I’d much rather do this than traipse around Wellington only to suffer the indignity of trying to explain my preference for Moleskine notebooks to retail staff (I used to be a wage slave myself so believe I am fully qualified to turn my nose up on retail employment).

Hmmm… money

Hmmm… weekends

Oh and If you don't recognise the title of this post from Todd Solondz's 1998 stunner Happiness then shame on YOU!!!

Tuesday, 5 July 2005

Lift up the receiver, I'll make you a believer

So it seems Depeche Mode are coming out with a new album called Playing The Angel and that this will coincide with a "world tour" starting October through to March of next year. I mockingly use parentheses as the "world tour" involves some parts of Europe and a bunch of ugly places full of ugly Americans in the Ugly States of America. Yes folks, I mean Fort Lauderdale and Denver and Boston and *eeks* Las Vegas.

I never did much like CSI, but I do feel a European holiday coming over me.

Speaking of European holidays, Master P is heading off tomorrow on a trans-Atlantic sojourn that should mix business with pleasure to bring out the best of both worlds. All the best buddy!

Monday, 4 July 2005

I blame time zones, daylight savings and the lack of Canadians around here

Ok so maybe I forgot to celebrate Canada Day this year.

I do feel bad because the country that gave me another passport (for cheaper travel visa fees in many countries and a lowered risk of being interrogated by immigration in both hebrew and arabic I must say this was well worth the years I spent in Canada as a kid), that introduced me to snow-chilled maple candy (boiled maple syrup poured over fresh snow = OH... MY... GOD!!!) and the wonders of ice hockey (GO OILERS!!!) deserves its dues every year from this ever grateful kiwi canuck.

I'm buying bilingual maple syrup right now! Better late than never.

Hmmm... maple syrup

*gulps down a bottle of coke*

Sorry about the deep and meaningful post there folks. I shall endeavour to stick to more shallow fodder for your future consumption.

Oh and before I forget, can I just say "thank you" to the wellingtonista for promoting my fine literary work above that of my partner in crime and his hand-me-down man in the list of fine Wellington blogs. The gesture of placing me fifth in the list is much appreciated by this humble and modest screamer into the void.

I still find it interesting how something that was intended as a personal cathartic exercise has developed a modest yet loyal readership.

*burps the sonorous burp of a satisfied coke drinker*

Oh excuse me! I won't offend you with any better-out-than-in excuses. I am truly sorry.

What would MacGyver do?

Back in the day I used to really get excited watching this now terribly dated show about a guy who could do anything with his trusty Swiss army knife.

Although his gimmick of never using guns never really made sense to me I couldn't help but be enchanted as he defused bombs with a paper clip and his Swiss army knife, brought down South American drug cartels (remember this was when America was all about the war on drugs) with an ice cream cone and his Swiss army knife, and held back a rampaging plague of South American soldier ants (no I don't think the latino vote was so big back then) with a yellow raincoat and, you guessed it, his Swiss army knife.


At least MacGyver's mullet didn't look anywhere near as bad as the terrible wardrobe sported by Jan Michael Vincent in Airwolf.


But I digress.

The point I was trying to make was a wistful one of the wouldn't-it-be-good variety. No I'm not talking about Nik Kershaw. I've been dealing with some pretty big questions around my future and speaking honestly I'm scared.

Put it down to the tyranny of choice (the theory where presenting someone with too many options only serves to suppress their ability to think freely and rationally about what lies before them and ultimately leaves them less happy with whatever choices they make, if they are even capable of making any decisions) or that many of the guys I know around my age are returning to uni to study something "more creative/artistic/interesting/fulfilling" (take your pick).

I've never been one to lead the life of the destitute student and I am loathe to begin now. That said I'm not sure I can keep going in my current career path without going mad or worse, becoming a *chokes* manager.

I know that this all means I have to make some tough decisions and live with the consequences. It has been enough to put this consumer whore off shopping and almost ruined this weekend just passed. I just don't see why it can't be as easy as MacGyver made it look on TV.

Which reminds me, Askew had some stylish looking Swiss army knives.

I must buy one.

Friday, 1 July 2005

Have you ever walked into a film only to come out feeling worse than when you went in?

So Dandy and I saw War of the Worlds last night.

I'm sorry but it was dreadful.

Please don't make me explain the many and varied reasons why.

Just please avoiding seeing this waste of time.

No really.

Just step away from the ticket booth and do something more meaningful with your life.

Can I have my money back now?

I have two words for you people...

polenta

chips